The one picture Jerry was allowed to take

Elaine’s perspectives and surprisingly good action shots

When I took my “hiatus” I wasn’t sure if I was a true blogger, I most certainly didn’t feel very willing to turn to public writing as an outlet and, frankly, I wasn’t in a very good place personally or emotionally.  I’m not sure I am now either, but am constantly amazed by the daily graces of my now 5 year old and can’t believe how blessed I am by her.  It sounds so trite.  I think most parents feel blessed by their children but I find myself privately, and sometimes publically, acknowledging that often.  Elaine is, somehow, able to slip very adult lessons into daily undertakings.  What’s more is that it is usually very timely and almost always unintentional. 

This summer, I have been additionally blessed by a friendship that, more or less, snuck up on me.  It’s not a brand new relationship, but one that has definitely taken a turn for the better.  This new friend is an extraordinary person.  I find myself thinking about the gifts she’s given to me and can’t help but try to emulate her.  She has qualities that some people can’t even understand, let alone use, to the extent she has shown me and I find myself in awe.  I’ve spent a lot of time thinking over the past couple days, now that things are slowing down a little and I know now that writing is as good a place as any to reflect.  So I will start publically writing again.  It’s the least I can do to maintain some balance and recreate some purpose in my daily life again.  I will not promise to write daily which is the absurd pressure I placed on myself before.  But I will write and so here goes….

It is no secret to anyone who knows me or frequently reads this blog that I am so fortunate to be surrounded by family and friends and how much I value those relationships.  The people in my life are the single part of my life I treasure most.  I am extroverted and rely on people to recharge, energize and truly live.  Over the past few years, I have learned countless lessons about what freindship is and its importance, what I expect out of myself as a friend and have been shown how amazing my friends are over and over again.

With all of that being said, 5 of us headed to NYC for 3 days of fun.  Pam, Tammy, Jami, Leah and I planned a little and went with a list of things we would like to do, but with loose timing and plans for things while we were there.  Looking back, the signs were there.  I should have been tipped off but wasn’t.  I even checked to see if it was a possibility–if a dream could come true.  As far as I looked, it wasn’t.  I missed it on the website.  I missed the marquis.  I felt myself becoming annoyed with the unknown.  Why were we there.  What did we possibly hope to gain by being there.  We’d had such a good day and I had no idea what must have been going through my friends’ minds.  I stood watching the crowd move through security.  Wondering what on earth we were doing there.  Then I turned around.

Fifteen feet from me stood the wall of Springsteen concert t-shirts.  Too stunned to speak, I turned back around trying to figure out how I was going to get enough cash to buy a scalped ticket.  That’s when the unbelievable happened.  Everyone was in on it.  Tickets in hand, my amazing husband and friends put this together for me.  Jerry had somehow gotten tickets and my friends selflessly agreed to go with me.  Then it hit me.  I realized I was going to see Springsteen.  In New York City.  Next to seeing Springsteen in New Jersey, NYC is the next best thing.  It’s like the seeing the Pope at the Vatican or U2 in Ireland.  It just doesn’t get any better.

To top everything off, I was able to see Springsteen with my incredible friends, whom I had the spent the most wonderful weekend with.  I can’t say it enough.  My friends did this for me.  They all sacrificed a night in NYC to see another show, visit a gallery, have a leisurely dinner that didn’t start at 5:00, shop, take a carriage ride through Central Park, or do any one of the things we planned.

Springsteen, as he always has been, was fantastic.  The show didn’t disappoint.  I felt renewed like I always do walking out of his concert, but it was different somehow. Looking back on the whole evening, I am awed.  I am grateful to have been afforded the opportunity.  But most of all, I have learned yet another lesson about friendship.  I am privileged, honored and humbled by each and every one of those girls whom I am able to call friend.  From the bottom of my heart, thank you for giving me my greatest surprise.  And more importantly, thank you being my friend–it is truly my greatest gift!!!

A class full of cute costumes and even cuter kids!

Next we carved our jack-o-lanterns at our annual get together with the Seabolts.  This year, the Coles couldn’t make it and we’re hopeful to be back on track next year.  The kids had a great time playing while Jerry and Gary carved the pumpkins.  In the end, the kids were very proud of all their hard work.

Trick or treating is quite the event in our neighborhood.  We had 296 trick or treaters and all our neighbors really get into the decorations.  It is fun to see all the different costumes and Elaine actually braved walking up to some doors on her own.  I love that she feels comfortable enough to do so.  Grandma and Papa visited to help us celebrate.  Elaine also did a great job helping me pass out candy.  I actually think she liked passing it out better than collecting it!

At the Chisesi’s house–Elaine loves Tammy!

We trick or treated to Mrs. Kemper’s.  Lane was there and just as excited as Elaine was!

Elaine got to see Ms. Nancy and was excited to get a quick hug and picture.

Elaine and Abby

Sarah with Elaine  (Is this the “Mom, take the picture!!” look or what??)

Four dolls with 4 cute girls!!  (Elaine, Sarah, Hannah and Abby)

To make a long story short, I miscarried.  So much lost time and even more lost hope.  I never thought about how devastating this loss could be.  I’ve had friends who’ve gone through it and I never understood the sheer horror it entails.  Initially, I was so quiet about it.  I didn’t share with anyone.  Slowly, it began to leak out and I was forced to publicly deal with my ordeal.  I am blessed to have fabulous family, friends and co-workers all of whom rallied around me.  My poor husband was stuck watching me, most of the time helpless to actually do anything.  He is priceless to me.  While I tried to deal with all the emotions that were running through my mind and heart, I was forced to face the physical side of this process. 

While I tried and tried to move past this, my body had different plans and the doctor finally decided to do a D&C.  Because of this procedure and settling the hormonal uproar raging inside me, I am beginning to feel normal.  I am getting through days and nights without crying.  I feel like myself more and more again each day.  I am sleeping much better and working through my daily life as normal, at least, most of the time.   

From the bottom of my nearly broken heart, I thank those of you who knew and tried to help.  I know, without a doubt, my darling, sweet, innocent daughter is the person who sadly bears most of the responsibility for helping me heal.  She didn’t even know and she pulled me through.  She reminded me to laugh, breathe, smile and live.  I am so very thankful to have her.  She continues, everyday,  to be my miracle!

Our new pilot friend allowed us to watch up close with what they were doing and were so sweet with Elaine.  They offered to have her int he basket, which she had no desire to do.  We helped hold the basket down together.  Elaine did not like it when the pilots turned on the flames to keep the balloons heated.  Our time at this year’s festivals ended with a teary girl who was very tired and hungry.  Maybe next year, the scheduled launch will go off without a hitch!!

Waiting patiently…

Elaine likes these balloons–especially seeing all the animals on the ark.

Posing in front of her favorite regular balloon–all her favorite colors!!

Helping to hold the balloon down

Scared??  Hungry??  Tired??  YEP!

In a better mood after breakfast!!